Nod in the direction of.........

Australian Federal Government who extend Medicare benefits to IVF processes. I recieved my reimbursement cheque which means I am down a total of $500 at the end of a frozen cycle (Instead of $3000). I am very grateful that finances is not a barrier for treatments here.

My cousin.... who is a joy to hang out with. In many ways like a sister. We beached it together last night as the sun was going down. The wind hot, the water cool, the light soft and coloured, the waves breaking even and strong. We body surfed together and because our bodies are pretty much replicas of each other we would swim onto the wave and then surface at the same spot at the end of our ride - grinning, cahooting and pulling togs back over our bits. (I did a serious nipple flash while jumping around going "Yes" after catching a particularly good ride - no wonder the other swimmers were grinning. I thought they were sharing my joy!)

Yourself... why not. You 're great.

My sister

Is having a baby in a few weeks.

She has had increased Ob appts due to the size if the baby being very small and continuing to drop in its percentile band. Last week (at 37 wks) she dropped to below 5%.

It is disturbingly similar to Maya. Although she was smaller than my sisters bub. It is wierd though. When Maya was diagnosed with the unbalanced translocation both Jacob and I were tested and it was determined that I carried the translocation. Then my other sister (who was pregnant at the time) and my parents were tested to see if they also carried the translocation and it came back clear. Which means that it was a problem that started in me - when I was one cell - even though I can pass it on to any kids I may have. Which means it would be very very unlikely to have a sister with the same problem. The odds would be similar to having two siblings (aside from identical twins) with Down Syndrome.

The thing that is worrying for me is that she is not small, neither is her partner. Also, all the flows look good in the placenta and chord etc. I know this should be a good thing but it tends to point to the problem being with the bubs rather than with her or with the chord/placenta. It all feels eerily familiar to me and I am quite concerned.

I guess this is where a "she'll be right" attitude works wonders. I am sitting nervously by trying not to assume the worst while she seems to be travelling pretty fine.

Please keep her and her baby in your thoughts/prayers.

Apparantly not

The home pregnancy test only had one line. Blood test tomorrow.

Yes - I even hid the frozen cycle from you dear friends because...... well...... I don't know why.

But I was so very very happy for the first three days, before worry arrived. A quality of happy that I almost didn't recognise. So deeply peaceful and - happy!

Sigh.