I thought it would.
I really did.
But on Monday you couldn't see the second line, only a shadow where the line might be if there was going to be one. And today my beta was a big fat 4.
Why does my body not hold on to my babies?
Why don't they stick?
Sam knew, as anybody will know, that when you wake up ….. and smell your dead father right beside you, then you know the shifty shadow of God is lurking. And Sam knew damnwell that when the shifty shadow is about, you roll yourself a smoke and stay under the sheet and don't move till you see what happens. - Tim Winton, Cloudstreet. Perhaps I moved when I shouldn't have. How else do you explain the last 2 years? Creation. Birth. Death. Hope. Disappointment. Anger. Jealousy. And Love.
32 comments:
Oh B, what a total bummer. I am so terribly sorry. Unfortunately I am not one for answers on why babies don't stick, having yet to experience a sticker myself. But I do know about fading lines and pissy small betas and I know how much they suck.
And I'm sorry you aren't going to give up IF for lent. Because now you might have to give up something you actually like, instead. xx
I'm so sorry.
BT sucks doesn't it? Had the same thing happen in December and January. 2 lines then 1 line and sort of a second line and then just 1 line and a nasty period. I'm so sorry.
So sorry
I don't know. I'm so sorry.
Oh, B, I don't know. It seems it should be so easy for you with Maya happening so easily and just the translocation to get around. I wish I had some answers for you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, B. :(
i hope you find an answer soon...im so sorry for your loss it must be so hard for you
xoxo
damn! why do bodies have to be so f#$king mysterious with their answers...wish I had something useful to say here.
Hugging you across the globe.
XO
oh barb, my heart is aching for you. so so sorry. sending you love from across the pacific.
So so sorry :(
LFCA
This is so not fair. I'm heartbroken for you. I wish I could give you a big hug in person.
I am so sorry honey, I know how hard that must be, I also had a chemical pregnancy last year and it sucks.
Thinking of you.
xxx
(LFCA)
Oh, B, I'm so sorry. So very sorry.
So sorry to read this :( My thoughts are with you.
I'm sorry
Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry.
Oh Barb... I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. This is so freaking unfair!!!
I'm so sorry. what a bummer
I'm so sorry.
my thoughts are with you.
I'm sorry. You've been through a lot. My thoughts are with you.
Shit...I am so, so sorry.
Dear B, I am so sorry...
I am so so sorry....there are no words so I'm giving you a virtual hug. Fran
(LFCA)
just found your blog today and read your news. :( i don't know you but i feel for you, i cried a bit for you and said a prayer that somehow, someway things will turn around.
sincerely,
still greiving former IVFer
Checking in and checking up on you. Speak to us B, even if it is all misery. Tell us SOMETHING. ANYTHING. I am hoping you are managing ok. xx
I know its been a little while, but I'm still sorry. *hug*
Where have you gone?? Thinking of you here in the UK......(((HUGS)))
You are so kind to leave your comment on my blog. I was complaining about not having the perfect birth . . . so trivial in comparison to where you are at.
I think of you often and always hope I will be surprised by a new post that you are well on your way with a healthy pregnancy.
Thinking of you and hoping you are okay... as ok as can be...
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