Sam knew, as anybody will know, that when you wake up ….. and smell your dead father right beside you, then you know the shifty shadow of God is lurking. And Sam knew damnwell that when the shifty shadow is about, you roll yourself a smoke and stay under the sheet and don't move till you see what happens.
- Tim Winton, Cloudstreet. Perhaps I moved when I shouldn't have. How else do you explain the last 2 years? Creation. Birth. Death. Hope. Disappointment. Anger. Jealousy. And Love.
I have been thinking about this for a bit. I am sure you have too. There is no need to answer.
But what if you just got pregnant the old fashioned way like you did with Maya and then did the earliest CVS test you could and abort if necessary? Babies die whether they are embryos or not, implanted or not, full term or not. What if - what if - the extra steps are keeping what would have been healthy babies from forming and growing?
No offence Kami - I've thought about it long and hard. I just don't know that I could go through 11 weeks of pg and then an abortion - repeatedly - which lets face it is the most likely outcome (3/4 chance). I feel like it might crush me.
But, truth be told, for most people who have a BT and end up having kids it is that way. A lot of people have early miscarriages so that happens before they have a CVS but, well, you know I can carry to term. Just depends on where the chromosome breaks are.
Freakin horrible choices huh? Repeated miscarraige/abortion or IVF with PGD?
So sorry to hear of your news. I also have a balanced translocation. Whilst, the breaks on my chromosomes 10 and 13 mean I would never carry an unbalanced embroyo full term, it also means that it is very difficult for me to fall pregnant. To give you some faith, we went through 5 full IVF/PGD cycles (back to back over 18 mths), produced 102 eggs (my doc extracted 20+ eggs each cycle - yes I was in pain) and 50 or so embroyos. For the first 4 cycles, we didn't have anything to transfer back, however on the last cycle we were lucky enough to have one balanced embroyo to transfer, which resulted in my little miracle baby, just born in August 09 (after a 3 year journey)!! The only difference in the last cycle was that we only tested for the 10 and 13 chromosomes and not the full range - not sure if this contributed, but we are over the moon. Hope this helps restore your faith - IVF/PGD does work!!
32 comments:
Shit. SO so so sorry. Thinking of you. xx
i'm so very sorry.
I'm so sorry mate. Fuck this sucks.
Lots of hugs to you and Jake.
I'm so sorry. Big hugs from NC.
I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))
#$&(%*)#&%()&&!@(*&%&*!*&#(!&(*$%^_)*&)%$
I hate infertility!!!! None of us deserves to go through this .. grrrrr. So sorry it didn't work this time.
I'm so, so sorry. That's just awful.
Oh sweetie - I am soo sorry.
Damn it! I am thinking of you and your husband.
Well. Crap. Crap. Crap.
Sending you a hug around the world. A big long one.
I'm so sorry, B. That is fucking terrible news.
Dang it, girl. That's so unfair!! Sending you lots of love and hugs to make it through!
oh crap, B. that really really sucks. I am sitting here with you, angry and upset with the universe.
Sigh. Here for you, B.
I'm so so sorry. Thinking of you.
Here from LFCA. So so sorry for your loss.
dang it! So sorry.
LFCA
HUGS I am so sorry!! Hang in there sweetie
So very sorry... Sending thoughts of peace your way.
~LFCA
I'm so sorry.
I am so, so sorry. *hugs*
So sorry...
Oh god, how awful. I am so very sorry, B. You deserve for this to work.
I'm so sorry
xxx
I am so very sorry. All my love and big warm hugs.
Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.
I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts.
I have been thinking about this for a bit. I am sure you have too. There is no need to answer.
But what if you just got pregnant the old fashioned way like you did with Maya and then did the earliest CVS test you could and abort if necessary? Babies die whether they are embryos or not, implanted or not, full term or not. What if - what if - the extra steps are keeping what would have been healthy babies from forming and growing?
I hope I haven't offended you.
No offence Kami - I've thought about it long and hard. I just don't know that I could go through 11 weeks of pg and then an abortion - repeatedly - which lets face it is the most likely outcome (3/4 chance). I feel like it might crush me.
But, truth be told, for most people who have a BT and end up having kids it is that way. A lot of people have early miscarriages so that happens before they have a CVS but, well, you know I can carry to term. Just depends on where the chromosome breaks are.
Freakin horrible choices huh? Repeated miscarraige/abortion or IVF with PGD?
better the devil you know?
Oh B... This just breaks me. I am so sorry. I wish I could work some magic and make this happen. This is so not fair.
Sending hugs and love.
So sorry to hear of your news. I also have a balanced translocation. Whilst, the breaks on my chromosomes 10 and 13 mean I would never carry an unbalanced embroyo full term, it also means that it is very difficult for me to fall pregnant. To give you some faith, we went through 5 full IVF/PGD cycles (back to back over 18 mths), produced 102 eggs (my doc extracted 20+ eggs each cycle - yes I was in pain) and 50 or so embroyos. For the first 4 cycles, we didn't have anything to transfer back, however on the last cycle we were lucky enough to have one balanced embroyo to transfer, which resulted in my little miracle baby, just born in August 09 (after a 3 year journey)!! The only difference in the last cycle was that we only tested for the 10 and 13 chromosomes and not the full range - not sure if this contributed, but we are over the moon. Hope this helps restore your faith - IVF/PGD does work!!
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